So I'm trying... to start again... and I'm trying to get on my exercise bike. I reluctantly didn't go to the gym tonight, but put in "my fitness pal" that I'd do 15 minutes on my bike at home. And as I put that in my fitness pal account I had this thought of "what a loser you are." Because I wouldn't go to the gym, ya know. So I grudgingly puddled to the living room and hopped on that bike and gave it my all. When all was said and done, I was panting like a dog, my heart rate was in the one-teens, and I could feel the burn in my calves. I got off the bike and this thought occurred to me.
WHY do I always set up these GOOD or BAD values in my head, and when I don't do them I get on myself and call myself names?? That 15 minute bike workout was just as great as 15 minutes on the Arc trainer at the gym, yet for some stupid reason in my head, I got down on myself. How stupid is that? Why do I do that, though? Why is it so damned easy to call myself names? It's so self-defeating!!!
No more self-name-calling. How can I rebuild myself if I'm so willing to tear myself apart?
So, I will now refer to myself as Princess Bernice. Because I AM A PRINCESS IN GOD'S EYES... so why not be one in my OWN eyes?!
Signed,
Your Royal Highness,
Princess Bernice
